Tom Hiddleston witnesses a crime.
Tom is coming out of a Detroit Publix when something catches his eye. It’s a man getting out of his recently parked Subaru. He finishes a bag of Baked Lays, crumples the vessel and- horror of horrors- throws it on the ground.
Tom is enraged. Does this man have no scruples? One does not simply litter! It is a detriment to public welfare! It hurts everyone.
Easy, Thomas. Perhaps it was an accident.
Tom calls out to the man, but he disappears around the corner. Oh, he’s done it now. This was no accident. This was a belligerent act of… of… belligerence!
Tom storms over to the car and picks up the bag of crisps. Retrieving a pen from his jacket pocket, Tom begins to write a strongly worded letter.
My name is Thomas William Hiddleston. You may know me from films such as Unrelated and The Gathering Storm. Or, you know, The Avengers. Anyway, I was exiting the adjacent Publix when I bore witness to your heinous actions- I saw this very bag flutter from between your fingers and onto the honestly pretty nasty Detroit pavement. I cried until my voice went, but still you refused to acknowledge your wrongdoing.
Pardon my French, sir, but how dare you? You are unfit to walk these streets of Motown. You are certainly unfit to own a Subaru, the likes of which I’ve never driven but am assured are quite lovely. You are unfit to breathe.
Most certainly NOT yours,
Thomas William “Snickerdoodle” Hiddleston
I am sorry for calling you unfit to breathe.
That was harsh.
That is not how I was raised.
The ink does not stick to the greasy bag foil.
Tom leaves in tears.
I’m just going to keep reblogging these cause they are BRILLIANT.
My favourite tattoo.
Actually went in to see my artist Ian McAlister at Red Hot and Blue in Edinburgh to book in getting my sleeve finished when all of a sudden he asked if I like guns and hearts and free tattoo’s, as my answer was yes, he tried out this new style he was working on. I love it.
I’ve been thinking a lot about body art. This is the kind of thing I like and would actually get. Now to just get the money and an artist that can pull this off.
All of it, thank you very much, haha. Thank you melloyellocrux
I get this from a lot of black people actually. Of course it’s my hair!
They’re all freaking SEXY.